Regarding the Re-Airing of the "Lost" Season Finale That is Playing Right Now

It's really cool that you're running that caption at the bottom of the screen to catch me up since the season finale originally aired A BILLION EFFING YEARS AGO but maybe you could cut out all the flowery, quasi-mystical editorializing? I really don't care that "Jack really did a number on Ben" or that "There's no better way to bond on this island than to tie up Ben" or whatever, I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point.

Also, Lost should be on cable because the most unrealistic element of the entire show is that no one has ever said the f-word. I'd be painting an effing blue streak on that island with f-bomb. I'd be all "What the H-E-double croquet mallets is going on here all the time?" and whatnot.

Update: Another ridiculous caption, verbatim:

"A nice moment, but on this crazy island, nothing is what it seems."

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not actually watching Lost, I'm watching, "That Crazy Island." Are they just punching some weirdo's fanfic into the computer or what?