I Must Alert the World To This As It Would Be Irresponsible Not To Do So
File this under "Science," "Health," "Current Events," or otherwise!
So I've been lounging around, as I'm wont to do, in my favorite robe, which happens to be my dad's old one that I pilfered from him a while back. It's blue and thin, non-jersey cotton material with white piping, not terry cloth (HATE THOSE), FYI. It's also about a size 3XL, so it's pretty comical (well, sexy-comical....GROWL, PURRRRR, etc. etc.).
So anyway, I just looked down and saw...I'm not joking...an underarm sweat stain that....seriously....RUNS THE LENGTH OF THE ENTIRE SLEEVE. I APPEAR TO HAVE CREATED THE MOST MASSIVE SWEAT STAIN KNOWN TO MAN.
I'm inclined to believe this is due to overlapping folds of material aiding in sweat seepage, and the occasional change of body position. I'm also inclined to believe I'm dying.
Glad I could share this moment. I would take a digital photo and write a Wikipedia entry about it, but that's just too much work. I am, after all, already sweaty.
Sincerely yours,
Inhuman Body that Can't Even Do A Simple Thing Like Sweat Without Grossing Everyone Out And Making It Obvious Why I Don't Have A Boyfriend
So I've been lounging around, as I'm wont to do, in my favorite robe, which happens to be my dad's old one that I pilfered from him a while back. It's blue and thin, non-jersey cotton material with white piping, not terry cloth (HATE THOSE), FYI. It's also about a size 3XL, so it's pretty comical (well, sexy-comical....GROWL, PURRRRR, etc. etc.).
So anyway, I just looked down and saw...I'm not joking...an underarm sweat stain that....seriously....RUNS THE LENGTH OF THE ENTIRE SLEEVE. I APPEAR TO HAVE CREATED THE MOST MASSIVE SWEAT STAIN KNOWN TO MAN.
I'm inclined to believe this is due to overlapping folds of material aiding in sweat seepage, and the occasional change of body position. I'm also inclined to believe I'm dying.
Glad I could share this moment. I would take a digital photo and write a Wikipedia entry about it, but that's just too much work. I am, after all, already sweaty.
Sincerely yours,
Inhuman Body that Can't Even Do A Simple Thing Like Sweat Without Grossing Everyone Out And Making It Obvious Why I Don't Have A Boyfriend
posted by K at 8:07 PM
3 Comments:
Naw, dawg. Lounging-Around-Mysterious-Sweat is totally a phenomenon. Aided sometimes by leisure-wear materials. Unless I am a glandular freak. Which I almost certainly am.
However, I have never seen a sweat stain on you, ever.
If you want to join me and Maitch in our Get Old, Get Cats, and Eat Doritos 'Til We Die plan, though... ROOM FOR ONE MORE.
This made me think of when I left a lake-sized pile of drool on my pillow while I was sleeping the other night and then when I went to bed the next day, I slept on the place where the drool had dried and I could smell it and it was comforting and made me feel like a baby. I'm going to go walk through a plate glass window now.
"I'm going to go walk through a plate glass window now."
This stopped me from quitting my job just now.
Post a Comment
<< Home