Whatever You Want, Staples-Lady Baby
I just picked up the boxes I was jabbering on about in a previous post, and I asked the cashier, "Do you have bags for these?" Why did I even ask that question? Of course they do, they're Stapeles and they can handle my every nee-
"No, but she'll tie it for you buy the door," the cashier said, motioning vaguely to front of the store. There stood a little old woman in a Staples uniform, apparently ready to hogtie my two six-packs (ha) of flattened file boxes for my journey home. So I walked over and she said, "Here's your handle," and tied a small handle onto the boxes.
"You want me to tie 'em together, too? Doesn't need it, really," she said. I picked up the two awkwardly connected boxes, testing out the entire apparatus. They swayed in a manner I didn't appreciate.
"Yeah, if you could. I think that would be better." At this point, the lady seemed to suddenly suffer from amnesia, because her reaction was that of someone who had suddenly forgotten that it was her job to package things together for Staples customers. She replied simply,"I'm going to be nice today."
Wha?
Then as she was wrapping the flat boxes with cellophane to tie them together, she said, "A million dollars."
In situations like this, when I have no idea what someone is trying to communicate to me, if anything, I gave her my standard chuckle. She then followed up with, "What would you do if you had a million dollars?"
Um, okay.
"Uh...go on a vacation?" I replied lamely, not understanding this "game." Her face became flustered and she said, "No, if you had a million dollars today, like right now." Oh, right, sorry lady, whatever my heart desires this very minute. She's right; a vacation takes planning. My Maniacal-Million-Dollar-Money-Wasting-Time shouldn't be spent on Expedia.com. So I guess I'm supposed to say...give it to the weird Staples lady?
"Um...give it to my family?" I said instead.
She smiled broadly, then added, "The one's that deserve it."
I think I found my own private Mr. Miyagi, everybody.
"No, but she'll tie it for you buy the door," the cashier said, motioning vaguely to front of the store. There stood a little old woman in a Staples uniform, apparently ready to hogtie my two six-packs (ha) of flattened file boxes for my journey home. So I walked over and she said, "Here's your handle," and tied a small handle onto the boxes.
"You want me to tie 'em together, too? Doesn't need it, really," she said. I picked up the two awkwardly connected boxes, testing out the entire apparatus. They swayed in a manner I didn't appreciate.
"Yeah, if you could. I think that would be better." At this point, the lady seemed to suddenly suffer from amnesia, because her reaction was that of someone who had suddenly forgotten that it was her job to package things together for Staples customers. She replied simply,"I'm going to be nice today."
Wha?
Then as she was wrapping the flat boxes with cellophane to tie them together, she said, "A million dollars."
In situations like this, when I have no idea what someone is trying to communicate to me, if anything, I gave her my standard chuckle. She then followed up with, "What would you do if you had a million dollars?"
Um, okay.
"Uh...go on a vacation?" I replied lamely, not understanding this "game." Her face became flustered and she said, "No, if you had a million dollars today, like right now." Oh, right, sorry lady, whatever my heart desires this very minute. She's right; a vacation takes planning. My Maniacal-Million-Dollar-Money-Wasting-Time shouldn't be spent on Expedia.com. So I guess I'm supposed to say...give it to the weird Staples lady?
"Um...give it to my family?" I said instead.
She smiled broadly, then added, "The one's that deserve it."
I think I found my own private Mr. Miyagi, everybody.
posted by K at 12:52 PM
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