The Weirdest Coverage of the NOLA Tragedy
Is being done by none other than...
A Current Affair?
The show best known for launching the career of Maury Povich and telling the kind of stories better left to be worked out by Judge Judy is doing some intense reporting from the actual site. It's such a cheesy, sensationalistic show that I can't imagine them doing hard-hitting journalism, but they're sort of kicking ass on this one, and I think anyone who's seen the coverage would agree. They do this one completely ludicrous yet awesome segement in which one of their well-dressed female reporters attempts to get through to the FEMA telephone help-line. There's a clock in the corner of the screen, and as she waits in her desk chair, listening to a prerecorded message and saying things like "If I really needed help, I'd still be waiting" and "They're cutting me off; they won't even let me stay on hold," the seconds and minutes tick away. Wow, I didn't expect this from Fox. I mean, stylistically speaking, sure, but actual criticism?
I feel bad for previously thinking the host, Tim Green, was a real twat.
Well, he still is.
Get a load of his bio on the Current Affair webpage:
Fox Sports commentator,best-selling author, columnist, practicing lawyer, one of People Magazine’s "50 Most Beautiful People" and former NFL star player Tim Green is host of "A Current Affair," the contemporary version of the groundbreaking news magazine show that made its eagerly anticipated return to first-run syndication on March 21, 2005. Distributed by Twentieth Television, "A Current Affair" delivers exclusive, hard-hitting segments daily for which the half-hour strip is celebrated. With its gutsy, razor-sharp and straight forward stories for the new millennium, "A Current Affair" is executive produced by news magazine pioneers Peter Brennan and John Tomlin, along with consulting producer Ian Rae, the original team who launched "A Current Affair" in 1986.
Best-selling author? I know, he does look like one.
You know, I was just looking around that website, and it is INCREDIBLE. Please check it out. Amidst all the Katrina coverage on the website, you'll also find:
- a call for outrageous wedding videos
- an online poll in which one may check either "ineptitude" or "racism" as being the cause for the slow hurricane response
- a free Current Affair ringtone
You know, I was just thinking about how much I wished I had that ringtone. That is one hot jam and I want it on my phone PRONTO.
Perhaps better than all of this, though, are the descriptions of Tim Green's books. I thought he'd probably written about being an NFL player (suggested titles: The Mean Green, The Legend of Timmy Green, Green on Green: A Hero's Story) or about being a sportscaster, or being really really, ridiculously good-looking, or what it's like to have a head made of wood, but no, they're not about those things...
Chew on this synopsis of The Fourth Perimeter:
A former Secret Service agent turned high-tech entrepreneur, Kurt Ford couldn't be more proud when his son Collin follows in his footsteps. But elation turns to despair when Collin is found dead in his apartment and the police rule the case a suicide. Knowing his son would never kill himself, Kurt searches for the truth-and uncovers shocking evidence that the person behind the murder is none other than the president of the United States. Now Kurt is about to attempt the impossible: to assassinate a leader who has spun out of control. But as he sets his plan in motion, he finds out how much he really has to lose-and what dark forces are lying in wait for his next move.
Don't like the sound of that one? How about...Exact Revenge:
For twenty years, Raymond White has waited. Living in a maximum security prison in upstate New York and convicted of a murder he didn’t commit, his only thoughts are finding the men who put him there.
Oooh! I like Ruffians:
Clay Blackwell is an ordinary young man with an extraordinary talent. For his physical gifts, Clay is an NFL first-round pick. Yet from the moment he signs his big contract, Clay's talents plunge him into a realm of ruthlessness, lawlessness, and a conspiracy that makes playing for the Ruffians of Birmingham, Alabama, the most dangerous job a man could ever have. Deep inside this NFL franchise is an illegal weapon that turns its ordinary players into the most feared in the league--and into ticking time bombs. Now what is at stake for Clay is not just a career and a championship, but his body, his soul, and the woman he loved long before he became a Ruffian...
Later dudes, I'm going to the library.
BTW, does anyone know if Tim Green is married?
A Current Affair?
The show best known for launching the career of Maury Povich and telling the kind of stories better left to be worked out by Judge Judy is doing some intense reporting from the actual site. It's such a cheesy, sensationalistic show that I can't imagine them doing hard-hitting journalism, but they're sort of kicking ass on this one, and I think anyone who's seen the coverage would agree. They do this one completely ludicrous yet awesome segement in which one of their well-dressed female reporters attempts to get through to the FEMA telephone help-line. There's a clock in the corner of the screen, and as she waits in her desk chair, listening to a prerecorded message and saying things like "If I really needed help, I'd still be waiting" and "They're cutting me off; they won't even let me stay on hold," the seconds and minutes tick away. Wow, I didn't expect this from Fox. I mean, stylistically speaking, sure, but actual criticism?
I feel bad for previously thinking the host, Tim Green, was a real twat.
Well, he still is.
Get a load of his bio on the Current Affair webpage:
Fox Sports commentator,best-selling author, columnist, practicing lawyer, one of People Magazine’s "50 Most Beautiful People" and former NFL star player Tim Green is host of "A Current Affair," the contemporary version of the groundbreaking news magazine show that made its eagerly anticipated return to first-run syndication on March 21, 2005. Distributed by Twentieth Television, "A Current Affair" delivers exclusive, hard-hitting segments daily for which the half-hour strip is celebrated. With its gutsy, razor-sharp and straight forward stories for the new millennium, "A Current Affair" is executive produced by news magazine pioneers Peter Brennan and John Tomlin, along with consulting producer Ian Rae, the original team who launched "A Current Affair" in 1986.
Best-selling author? I know, he does look like one.
You know, I was just looking around that website, and it is INCREDIBLE. Please check it out. Amidst all the Katrina coverage on the website, you'll also find:
- a call for outrageous wedding videos
- an online poll in which one may check either "ineptitude" or "racism" as being the cause for the slow hurricane response
- a free Current Affair ringtone
You know, I was just thinking about how much I wished I had that ringtone. That is one hot jam and I want it on my phone PRONTO.
Perhaps better than all of this, though, are the descriptions of Tim Green's books. I thought he'd probably written about being an NFL player (suggested titles: The Mean Green, The Legend of Timmy Green, Green on Green: A Hero's Story) or about being a sportscaster, or being really really, ridiculously good-looking, or what it's like to have a head made of wood, but no, they're not about those things...
Chew on this synopsis of The Fourth Perimeter:
A former Secret Service agent turned high-tech entrepreneur, Kurt Ford couldn't be more proud when his son Collin follows in his footsteps. But elation turns to despair when Collin is found dead in his apartment and the police rule the case a suicide. Knowing his son would never kill himself, Kurt searches for the truth-and uncovers shocking evidence that the person behind the murder is none other than the president of the United States. Now Kurt is about to attempt the impossible: to assassinate a leader who has spun out of control. But as he sets his plan in motion, he finds out how much he really has to lose-and what dark forces are lying in wait for his next move.
Don't like the sound of that one? How about...Exact Revenge:
For twenty years, Raymond White has waited. Living in a maximum security prison in upstate New York and convicted of a murder he didn’t commit, his only thoughts are finding the men who put him there.
Oooh! I like Ruffians:
Clay Blackwell is an ordinary young man with an extraordinary talent. For his physical gifts, Clay is an NFL first-round pick. Yet from the moment he signs his big contract, Clay's talents plunge him into a realm of ruthlessness, lawlessness, and a conspiracy that makes playing for the Ruffians of Birmingham, Alabama, the most dangerous job a man could ever have. Deep inside this NFL franchise is an illegal weapon that turns its ordinary players into the most feared in the league--and into ticking time bombs. Now what is at stake for Clay is not just a career and a championship, but his body, his soul, and the woman he loved long before he became a Ruffian...
Later dudes, I'm going to the library.
BTW, does anyone know if Tim Green is married?
posted by K at 6:45 PM
1 Comments:
My sister has a friend at Bard who downloaded the Current Affair noise and listened to it on loop on his iPod for days at a time. That sound really gets inside your head, man.
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