Cold Stone Doesn't Like Stone Cold Bitches
There is a place. It is called "Cold Stone Creamery." I hate this place. Sort of. I mean, come on, their concoctions are totally delicious.
I went there for a friend's birthday and decided not to get anything because though Cold Stone is delicious, I have made too many caloric indiscretions as of late to enjoy one of their treats in good conscience. However, don't try to enter a Cold Stone and refrain from partaking because the "helpful" staff there really doesn't like that.
Look, I know what overly-solicitous service is. I worked at a restaurant. But seriously, stop asking me if I'm sure I don't want anything. I'm sure. I'm so sure, I'll show you the backs of my thighs and then maybe YOU'LL ALSO BE SURE; more sure than you've ever been about anything in your sixteen-year existence on this planet.
I know you really want to pound some ice cream around on that slab for me, but I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED. REALLY.
And you can stop singing, please.
I went there for a friend's birthday and decided not to get anything because though Cold Stone is delicious, I have made too many caloric indiscretions as of late to enjoy one of their treats in good conscience. However, don't try to enter a Cold Stone and refrain from partaking because the "helpful" staff there really doesn't like that.
Look, I know what overly-solicitous service is. I worked at a restaurant. But seriously, stop asking me if I'm sure I don't want anything. I'm sure. I'm so sure, I'll show you the backs of my thighs and then maybe YOU'LL ALSO BE SURE; more sure than you've ever been about anything in your sixteen-year existence on this planet.
I know you really want to pound some ice cream around on that slab for me, but I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED. REALLY.
And you can stop singing, please.
posted by K at 2:22 PM
1 Comments:
Heeeeeeeeeey! We got a tip! (insane singing and bopping) I laffed so hard at the "I know you really want to pound some ice cream around on that slab for me" thing. It really is a violent and somewhat disturbing process to watch. I'm always like, "Oh, oh geez. What did it ever do to you? It's just a delicious iced-dairy confection. Can I have extra Reese's in there? And soul pain?"
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