How's This for Role Playing: I'm "Scared Shitless"
I'm not so sure that Dungeons and Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game so much as it is an accurate description of my home and its inhabitants.
I discovered another GIANT roach last night, but fortunately, this one was not located in the bathroom but instead DIRECTLY UNDER A PILE OF CLOTHES ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR...
...ALREADY DEAD.
Hmmm. Okay, a) Gross. B) GROSS. C) Ha ha.
It's a very strange thing to lift up a pair of pants from your floor and discover a thumb-sized (basically) dead roach lying on its back. I wonder what killed it exactly. Was it just kind of hiding out under one article of clothing and was crushed by the addition of another on top of it, or was it just suffocated by the weight or smell of my dirty articles? Perhaps it was the size of my clothing that was just too much for it. Maybe if it were alive, it could tell me because it was so large, I can only assume it had a vocal apparatus approaching the complexity of a human's.
In other news, I noticed that ever since I moved my humoungous, 8 feet tall bookshelf against a different wall in my room, a strange, unidentifiable and irritating sound akin to that of a woodpecker going to town on a telephone pole began to occur every few minutes. What? I know. I desperatley tried to localize the sound, too, by standing in various places in my room and listening. In the mental health field, this is referred to as "psychosis." Anyway, I deduced that since the sound had never occurred pre-bookshelf-move, it had to be related to that. Also, I noticed that the bookshelf wasn't flush against the wall. My solution? I pushed it completely against the wall and now there's no more noise. This means one of two things happened:
1) The bookshelf had perhaps been rocking a little bit and now it's more stable.
Or, more likely...
2) I crushed whatever was back there.
None of this is weird at all. I'm a totally normal person.
I discovered another GIANT roach last night, but fortunately, this one was not located in the bathroom but instead DIRECTLY UNDER A PILE OF CLOTHES ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR...
...ALREADY DEAD.
Hmmm. Okay, a) Gross. B) GROSS. C) Ha ha.
It's a very strange thing to lift up a pair of pants from your floor and discover a thumb-sized (basically) dead roach lying on its back. I wonder what killed it exactly. Was it just kind of hiding out under one article of clothing and was crushed by the addition of another on top of it, or was it just suffocated by the weight or smell of my dirty articles? Perhaps it was the size of my clothing that was just too much for it. Maybe if it were alive, it could tell me because it was so large, I can only assume it had a vocal apparatus approaching the complexity of a human's.
In other news, I noticed that ever since I moved my humoungous, 8 feet tall bookshelf against a different wall in my room, a strange, unidentifiable and irritating sound akin to that of a woodpecker going to town on a telephone pole began to occur every few minutes. What? I know. I desperatley tried to localize the sound, too, by standing in various places in my room and listening. In the mental health field, this is referred to as "psychosis." Anyway, I deduced that since the sound had never occurred pre-bookshelf-move, it had to be related to that. Also, I noticed that the bookshelf wasn't flush against the wall. My solution? I pushed it completely against the wall and now there's no more noise. This means one of two things happened:
1) The bookshelf had perhaps been rocking a little bit and now it's more stable.
Or, more likely...
2) I crushed whatever was back there.
None of this is weird at all. I'm a totally normal person.
posted by K at 8:38 AM
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