I Guess He Was Talking About How Tall I Am

While walking to the subway in the bronx today, I remember thinking to myself, "I thought this was a bad neighborhood, but it doesn't seem like it. It's pretty pleasant, in fact." Then, just as I was walking past this old man on the street who was walking toward me in the other direction, he stopped, stared at me, and then said something I didn't totally catch until I really thought about it:

"I like big girls like you."

The best thing about catcalls on the street is WHEN THEY INCLUDE BACKHANDED INSULTS.

Also, I'M TOTALLY PROPORTIONAL. SERIOUSLY.

Also, why do I have a disease where I tell people all of the embarassing crap that happens to me during the course of a day, like for example, when I stood up from my seat on the bus yesterday and banged my head on the metal ceiling rail with such force that I may actually have altered my own neurologic functioning (total traumatic brain injury)? I'd elaborate but my headache and subdural hematoma are making me type all funzy.

At least I cheered myself up by answering a wrong number call to my cell phone, thinking it was someone I knew, with a long, drawn-out "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuup," which was immediatley followed by a stranger's laughter. AWESOME! Serves you right for calling me when you don't know me. STICK TO YOUR OWN KIND, MAN.