Actual quotes from 2 hours of daytime soap operas

"I went through it all...being drugged by those insane doctors...."

"Sheridan is a treasure of a person and she deserves to be loved."

"While the town was falling into the ocean, you and Jon hooked up?"

"I'm telling Lucas that Sami is Stan."

"You think I want Brady to know I gave Chelsea the flesheating virus?"

"I know after seeing all our past lives together that Luis and I are meant to be."

(After letting out repeated, blood-curdling screams) "I was screaming because the water in this shower is freezing! Now will you please leave so I can finish showering alone?"

"If the doctor can't fix your scars and you're still self-conscious about them, we can move away from here, to the middle of nowhere."

"There's a tsunami coming!"