The Poseidon Admixture

This remake of the Poseidon Adventure on channel 4 is totally psycho. First of all, in this version, the ship turns over due to a terrorist act (Totally topical! Carnival Cruise Line, Al Quaeda is on the Lido deck). I'm not worried, though, because Nick Baldwin, star of such films as Independence Day and the Justine Bateman stalker flick Deadbolt, plays a Homeland Security agent. Oh, and taking Gene Hackman's place is...Rutger Hauer. I'm sure this will blow Blade Runner out of the water, no matter WHAT the director's cut says (Look, everybody knows Harrison Ford is a replicant, and by that I mean that the famous American actor Harrison Ford is himself a replicant. Duh).

Okay, so far, this remake really sucks. Where's Shelley Winters? Also, these kids are 1000 times more annoying than anyone in the first movie, even that bitch who sang "There's Got to Be a Morning After." Yes, Steve Gutenberg is in it. Yes, it's still bad. C. Thomas Howell looks like an anorexic child molestor, which is convenient for him since one storyline includes him and Steve Gutneberg's jailbait "21 year-old" daughter finding love. All I'm saying is: my kind of movie. If either of them die, I'll be really pissed.

Oh, there's that Buckeroo Bonzai dude. I forget his name. Oh well.

Steve Gutenberg is STILL hot. How can that be? He doesn't even look like he's aged at all.

I'm going to go forget that I wrote this pointless post.