Does That Include Utilities?

I don't know about everyone else in this city, but I'm really sick of these people who post ads on craigslsit advertising reduced rent in exchange for assorted "favors," etc. Instead of linking to some of these, I'm going to actually cut and paste some. Take this one, for example:

LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL APT. COSTS $3000 PER MONTH UPPER EAST SIDE. POOL, GYM, SPA, TENNIS, SAUNA/STEAM, CONCIERGE, 24 HR DOORMAN.

IM A 26M YOUNG FINANCE PROFESSIONAL. LOOKING FOR A PRETTY FEMALE (I STRESS PRETTY) TO LIVE HERE RENT FREE. DO LIGHT HOUSEWORK. I WORK 14 HRS A DAY NO TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THE PLACE. .............................................

MUSTTTTT SEND PIC IF YOU WANT ANY TYPE OF RESPONSE... PRETTIEST GIRL GETS THE PLACE

This one:

Busy, professional, lives in a large 1br apartment on the upper-East side of Manhattan in a building near 5th Avenue in the 70s. I'm a White male, 41, very polite, good-looking. I'm seeking an attractive, very easy-going and open-minded female, for an apartment share. I just ended a relationship and thought the company would be benefecial.

Kindly send your photo, a brief descriprion of yourself, a bit about your background, and any other info. you think I should know.

And this one:

Cozy room w/ window. Shared bathroom and kitchen. No common living space. Walk-up in theatre district. Share with an adventurous couple and their cat.

-must be an attractive female under 30
-we like to play around and we want a playmate
-drugs and disease free (no drugs whatsoever!)
-someone w/ a busy schedule except at night :)

chores:
-make lunch for everyone
-light cleaning
-scantily dressed hostess at parties
-care for cat

I know people can do whatever they want, but these ads serve as a reminder to those of us not willing to perform the kind of acts reserved for Spring Break in Cancun that we must accept a lifetime of high rent as a consequence. But really, what is this, Amsterdam?

Actually, I guess there's nothing wrong with trying to kill two birds with one stone. If you need a roommate, and you need a regular casual hook-up, why not combine them? And why stop there? Perhaps this would be a good time to unveil my craigslist ad:

$700-Need Rommate and Perpetual Affirmation

Hey Craigslisters! I'm looking for a unique person to serve as both a roommate and an employee whose job it would be to provide constant positve reinforcement to me throught my day, every day.

This is a full-time position.

This situation would be best for someone without a lot of stuff and without a lot of personal baggage as there is limited space in the apartment and limited time for you to attend to your own life. It would be great if you had little to no personality.

You can be employed, but in a job that is a) not as cool as mine, and b) not as well-paying as mine. You must be able to leave work at a moment's notice to attend to my needs at all times. If I need you for an impromptu shoulder to cry on, you've got to be there. With tissues.

You cannot be as or more attractive, intelligent, interesting, or funny as I am (only replies including pictures will be considered). You cannot have attended a better than 3rd tier college.

Duties will include:
-giving constant reinforcement to me at all times
-telling others how great I am in a natural and intriguing manner
-being available 24/7 for errands, pep-talks, support of my various projects, and therapeutic discussion
-cheerleading, verbal/moral support
-nonsexual cuddling, petting, and stroking

Thanks and good luck!

Was that alright?