IDOLATRY
Two of the American Idol contestants are from my home county! That's something to be...something about! I think!
Dobbs Ferry and Mount Vernon. Yep: totally Westchester. Guess which one is the "have-not." (The preceding was REGIONAL HUMOR and will not be funny to anyone who is not clinically insane, from Bedford, NY, or most likely, both.)
This guy is from some place called Crystal Lake, so it's safe to say that if he wins, camp counselors everywhere should gethefugout.
Anyone who can get me a date with him:
him:
or him:
Please contact me at dangeroussexy@pedophilesometimes.com (the last 2 are 16! The first one is "29.")
Also: The third kid (Kevin Corvais) is AWESOME even though he looks like someone from a 10th grade talent show who snuck onto the stage and just started singing. He has quite an endearing interdental lisp and one of those girl contestants should totally give him something concrete to take home with him to Long Island (or rather, more accurately, take something away from him, IF you know what I mean, AND I think you do).
Oh please, like you weren't thinking the same thing. You. I know you.
PS: Check out this guy, appropriately named Ace:
Clearly, he's the manmeat of the show. I would be totally into him if he weren't obviously created in a lab in a back room on the TRL set from spare Jesse Metcalf and Jake Gyllenhaal parts. I will say that his rendition of "Father Figure" was better than the original, for real (When he sang "I'll be your daddy," I'm positive that at least 10 girls died of previously undiscovered heart defects). Maybe it was his intense and complex stare at the end. If you play his eyes backwards, you can hear the recipe for Simon Cowell, bee-tee-dubs.
"Have you figured it out yet?"
(What?)
"Who's the best American Idol?"
Dobbs Ferry and Mount Vernon. Yep: totally Westchester. Guess which one is the "have-not." (The preceding was REGIONAL HUMOR and will not be funny to anyone who is not clinically insane, from Bedford, NY, or most likely, both.)
This guy is from some place called Crystal Lake, so it's safe to say that if he wins, camp counselors everywhere should gethefugout.
Anyone who can get me a date with him:
him:
or him:
Please contact me at dangeroussexy@pedophilesometimes.com (the last 2 are 16! The first one is "29.")
Also: The third kid (Kevin Corvais) is AWESOME even though he looks like someone from a 10th grade talent show who snuck onto the stage and just started singing. He has quite an endearing interdental lisp and one of those girl contestants should totally give him something concrete to take home with him to Long Island (or rather, more accurately, take something away from him, IF you know what I mean, AND I think you do).
Oh please, like you weren't thinking the same thing. You. I know you.
PS: Check out this guy, appropriately named Ace:
Clearly, he's the manmeat of the show. I would be totally into him if he weren't obviously created in a lab in a back room on the TRL set from spare Jesse Metcalf and Jake Gyllenhaal parts. I will say that his rendition of "Father Figure" was better than the original, for real (When he sang "I'll be your daddy," I'm positive that at least 10 girls died of previously undiscovered heart defects). Maybe it was his intense and complex stare at the end. If you play his eyes backwards, you can hear the recipe for Simon Cowell, bee-tee-dubs.
"Have you figured it out yet?"
(What?)
"Who's the best American Idol?"
posted by K at 5:43 PM
3 Comments:
Why is Kevin Arnold on American Idol?
I can't believe I haven't watched it yet this season. I hope my DVR doesn't implode before Sunday, when I plan to watch the entire season. You're making it sound so good.
OMG...it's NOT good, but it is worth watching for isolated moments, most notable, Simon Cowell's curmudgeonly demeanor. I don't think I spelled that right.
Toooootally Kevin Arnold. "Mam!"
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