S'cuse Much, Rude or Anything?
The above is an insane, nonsensical quote from the movie Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Underrated, no?
Anyway, to the guy who PRACTICALLY RIPPED THE DOOR OF THE STARBUCKS BATHROOM I WAS IN OFF ITS HINGES today:
Just what, EXACTLY, do you think the word "OCCUPPIED" means, anyway?
I especially liked when, AFTER THE INTIAL FORCEFUL THRUST AGAINST THE DOOR, you FURIOUSLY TURNED THE DOORKNOB FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE DOUBLE-DIGIT SECONDS...REPEATEDLY.
Could you sense my terror? Was this some sort of urban version of a good old timey foxhunt? Was I the Ice-T in your own private Surviving the Game?
This highlights the phenomenon of me (and other people I know) becoming intensely afraid when another person crazily attempts access to a space I'm in. Even when I know the door is locked and they'll never get in, it's somehow utterly terrifying. Basically, this guy at Starbucks was Mark Wahlberg, I was Reese Witherspoon, the bathroom was my house and we were all in the movie Fear. Basically.
Anyway, to the guy who PRACTICALLY RIPPED THE DOOR OF THE STARBUCKS BATHROOM I WAS IN OFF ITS HINGES today:
Just what, EXACTLY, do you think the word "OCCUPPIED" means, anyway?
I especially liked when, AFTER THE INTIAL FORCEFUL THRUST AGAINST THE DOOR, you FURIOUSLY TURNED THE DOORKNOB FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE DOUBLE-DIGIT SECONDS...REPEATEDLY.
Could you sense my terror? Was this some sort of urban version of a good old timey foxhunt? Was I the Ice-T in your own private Surviving the Game?
This highlights the phenomenon of me (and other people I know) becoming intensely afraid when another person crazily attempts access to a space I'm in. Even when I know the door is locked and they'll never get in, it's somehow utterly terrifying. Basically, this guy at Starbucks was Mark Wahlberg, I was Reese Witherspoon, the bathroom was my house and we were all in the movie Fear. Basically.
posted by K at 4:44 PM
2 Comments:
As one of your fellow people who becomes intensely terrified, I can attest that when someone tries to barge into a single public bathroom that I'm in, I feel like that bag Ellie in Jurassic Park when the raptors are trying to get into the kitchen and she's like having a hyperventilation episode slash seizure slash soulquake. It's like: if you're in a public place and the door is locked, THAT MEANS SOMEONE IS IN THERE. And, oh yeah, there's this newfangled thing called knocking. Starbucks: come for the mochas, stay for the bathroom-anxiety embolisms!
I am LOLing so hard at this post, again. It's a trip down memory lane.
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