A Bronx Tale
Witnessed 2 transportation-related altercations, a fire (or something invloving 80 firetrucks and as many firefighters of varying handsomeness), and one instance of BORDERLINE CHILD ABUSE all in one day. Bronx, where have you been all my life?
The following occurred on a bus in Morris Park:
A huge dude with dreads and three children (all with dreads) boarded the bus. After they got on, other people continued to board the bus, as is their way when they need to go somewhere. After 20 seconds of more boarding, the huge dude yelled out "People got places to be, man," in an angry and rude manner. Oddly, passengers continued to board regardless as they also have places to be and thus, are attempting to ride the bus (weird). The bus began moving and then stopped a few minutes later. A kid bumped into one of the dreaded dude's kids on his way out of the bus, causing the dreaded kid to yell "Hey," or some such brief exclamation of surprise/annoyance. At this point, the dreaded dude reached outside the bus doors and "tapped" the kid (I'm not actually sure what he did physically to him; he could have shoved or poked him) and yelled, "Hey! You just bumped into my son. You bumped into him." I was unable to see the kid's reaction as it occurred, but at that point, the doors closed and the bus left, leaving me to think, Hmmm...what a totally ridiculous and aggressive jerk, but at least he seems to have stopped spewing contemptible bile for the time being, at which point, as if in answer to some never-posed question regarding his sanity/appropriateness as a parent/general antichrist status, he looked down at his son, imitated his cry of surprise with a mocking, girlish squeal, and said:
"If someone bumps into you, you trip 'em."
To the sound of my ovaries imploding on themselves....scene.
Alternate titles for this entry:
"Parenting Is Easy if You Don't Care"
"How Killers Are Made"
"Why You Shouldn't Forget Your Orth0"
"Two Wrongs Make A Disgusting"
"The Future"
The following occurred on a bus in Morris Park:
A huge dude with dreads and three children (all with dreads) boarded the bus. After they got on, other people continued to board the bus, as is their way when they need to go somewhere. After 20 seconds of more boarding, the huge dude yelled out "People got places to be, man," in an angry and rude manner. Oddly, passengers continued to board regardless as they also have places to be and thus, are attempting to ride the bus (weird). The bus began moving and then stopped a few minutes later. A kid bumped into one of the dreaded dude's kids on his way out of the bus, causing the dreaded kid to yell "Hey," or some such brief exclamation of surprise/annoyance. At this point, the dreaded dude reached outside the bus doors and "tapped" the kid (I'm not actually sure what he did physically to him; he could have shoved or poked him) and yelled, "Hey! You just bumped into my son. You bumped into him." I was unable to see the kid's reaction as it occurred, but at that point, the doors closed and the bus left, leaving me to think, Hmmm...what a totally ridiculous and aggressive jerk, but at least he seems to have stopped spewing contemptible bile for the time being, at which point, as if in answer to some never-posed question regarding his sanity/appropriateness as a parent/general antichrist status, he looked down at his son, imitated his cry of surprise with a mocking, girlish squeal, and said:
"If someone bumps into you, you trip 'em."
To the sound of my ovaries imploding on themselves....scene.
Alternate titles for this entry:
"Parenting Is Easy if You Don't Care"
"How Killers Are Made"
"Why You Shouldn't Forget Your Orth0"
"Two Wrongs Make A Disgusting"
"The Future"
posted by K at 6:13 PM
4 Comments:
Only time I will ever use "ROTFLMAO."
WORD.
If it has not been done already, I would like to personally institute the use of ROTFLMAO as a verbalized exclamation pronounced thusly:
"Rot-fulla-Mayo!"
I will now exclain it at the top of my lungs whenever appropriate.
"the future" kills me
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