The Most Embarassing Book to Be Reading on the Subway

Is this one.

"But Flowers in the Attic was so deliciously trashy and still somehow so actually good."

Well, duh. What am I, an idiot? This book, however, is TERRIBLE. I mean yeah, there's a retarded child treated in a totally offensive way, and there's a lot of sleazy sex talk, plus the whole "sexual awakening" bit, deaths, and many violations of innocence, but the care and delicacy of the previous masterpieces of VC Andrews* are somehow absent. Considering she wrote a bunch of books, DIED, and then her family continued to have books written under her name by some other dude AND NOBODY NOTICED, I guess I shouldn't expect much.

"Why are you still reading it, then?"

Umm, because nothing fucked up has happened yet. And something fucked up ALWAYS happens. Fucked up and...SEXY. SEXY and...SEXUAL. SEXUAL and...INCESTUOUS. INCESTUOUS and...DISGUSTING.

I'm just going to go throw up quickly. THROW UP and...CRY.

Also, so that people on the subway and in other public places will think I didn't go to college.

"But you love reading. You were an English major. Why don't you read some real literature?"

Look, I just finished Everything Is Illuminated and A Million Little Pieces and I'm expected to finish Love in the Time of Cholera relatively soon, so can't I go slummin' for a while without any guff from you, reflexive, made up interviewer?

"Read on, friend. Read on..."

I WILL.

*Here is an amazing website about VC Andrews that is EFFING INSANE. Make sure to explore it and all the links as well as listen to the music. Off the charts.

UPDATE:
Something totally fucked up happened. Still not as good as Flowers, though. Brother-sister sex? The apex of hot.