I Might be Gay One Hour of Every Weekday

Ellen DeGeneres, stop tricking me into being attracted to you. Last time I checked, I was a straight girl.

Is it really attraction, or do I just think you'd be an awesome friend?

Is it your dancing? There's something about it...

You make me have serious doubts about my sexuality from 10 am to 11 am every weekday.

Seriously, stop it. It's not cool. I don't appreciate your "wiles."

It's like a network executive engineered a being that is perfectly attractive to any sexual orientation and called it "Ellen DeGeneres."

Who knew preppy was my thing?


You did, Ellen.