That was (NOT) Cool

It's been really cool not having a computer for a week due to ridickle-dockle (as my mom would say) technical problems. Well guess what, computer: I ORDERED A NEW ONE! Nuts to you, as they (who?) say.

Time to go fly out of JFK to smella-hassee to see this.

PS: I had a really amazing idea for an advertising campaign for sandwiches. I better keep it to myself so no one steals it.

Even Better

I'm really diggin' on these dudes.

My Favorite Drinking Game

Drink every time the narrator says "psychosexual," "erotic," "pleasure," "Torso," and "it saturates the screen with terror."



I'm already wasted, and I'm not even drinking. It must be from all the torso.

Heat Wave Hijinx

So, as I mentioned, I have no air conditioning. As a result, I've slept about 4 hours in as many days. Today I had to buy a cup of coffee AFTER 5 pm, which I would never normally do, just to stay awake while reading in Borders Books (I still had to put my head down on the cafe table and didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I jerked awake like a crazy epileptoid). Being that I feel like the walking dead, and this heat is magnifying my complete and utter zombification, I decided to engage in my favorite pastime when it's hot out: going to the movies. And since I already felt like a horror show, I thought I would see a horror movie: The Descent. I was amazed to see it was getting good reviews (so rare for horror movies these days), so I thought I'd "indulge," even though I've been skittish about such movies ever since the effing High Tension fiasco (the fiasco=ridiculous movie).

It turns out, you can't even go to the movies to get out of the heat anymore. Right before the movie started, a theater employee came out and announced that due to the "brownout" (which is a totally gross term, btw), it "wasn't going to get much cooler than this" in the theater, "this" being kind of warm for everyone's tastes. Of course, I felt like a complete doofus as I had gone as far as bringing a sweater with me in anticipation of the freeze that would ensue after a few minutes in the hopefully icy-cold theater. This was not to be, however, and further, I forgot that New Yorkers really like to make moviegoing an interactive experience. They don't just take, they give, too. Thus, shouting at the screen and many, many inane comments ensued (the best, said by a 15 year old next to me, about a monster: "That looks like my cat"), courtesy of the people who sat down RIGHT NEXT TO ME, something I find extremely irritating. The movie was alright, plenty of thrills/chills, etc. Scarier still was the strange, swaying, drooling man I encountered on my walk home from the theater. I was careful not to engage him as I am essentially a scared person. This was the second crazy-person encounter I had today, incidentally. This morning, on the 4 train, a scary dude talking to the air from grand central to 125th street made me pull the "Look-here's-my-stop-jk-I'm-just-going-to-a-different-car-to-get-away-from- a-crazy-person" move, which I employ from time to time when necessary.

Today one of the kids I see for speech therapy told me he wished he had "super powers." You're telling me, kid.

I have to mention the fact that John Stossel is interviewing Dov Charney on tv right now. Um...yeah. Oh, wait-this is a rerun.

Loopy Town

I have no air conditioning and sweat is literally puring out of my face. Also, I just got a bunch of vaccines, so I "might have a fever" in addition to this heat. Thanks, God!

So, Your Point Is...?

Today I was writing emails on a computer in my school library when a woman seated next to me turned and said, "You're banging on the keys." In response, I just stared at her, and she added in a mean voice with an angry look, "I don't know if you're aware, but you're banging...banging on the keys." Um...okay.

To that woman: You are a very special person, and you should always feel free to let everyone around you know all about your special needs.

You know, I kind of wish I was the kind of person who would respond to that by saying, "That's how I type. If you don't like it, you can leave." Instead, I said, " That's how I type. Sorry." LADY STRAIGHT-UP WALKED ALL OVER ME.

As a friend of mine once said, the worst thing about people doing crappy things to me is not the actual crappy thing, but how my reaction reveals to people what a doormat wimp I am. "Oh, excuse me, I think you forgot your knife in my back. Sorry about that. It's really my fault."

Not that this was a huge slight or radical injustice. I mean, maybe I was kind of banging on the keys...but that's kind of a totally insane thing to be annoyed about. I actually wish I had just turned to her and screamed, "EXCUSE ME BUT CAN YOU PLEASE STOP THINKING SO LOUD?? I CAN HEAR YOUR HEAD!!!!!" It was pretty hot, so I probably could have gotten away with it. Once again, the best way to stick it to someone is to scare the crap out of them by making them think you're crazy. It's more fun, anyway.

Newsflash: It's Hot

And I have no air conditioning. I am going to, how-you-say....DIE.