What's Funny/Weird/Awesome About Interning at a Hospital?

EVERYTHING.

It occurs to me that I never talk about my work much. It's because I'm worried about getting fired for internet indiscretions. Nonetheless, a little "me time," so to speak, is in order.

Things patients have said to me in the last week:

"Are you a Virgo? You're so clean looking. You were born about 5:30 AM, am I right?"

"Aww Christ, I Don't feel well! I don't wanna see you you! Will you just leave me alone?!"

(Same patient, about me, upon walking into his room and seeing me speaking wth his roommate) "Is that who I think it is? Awww, hell no" (runs out of room).

"You should join the Army."

This Was Funny

In Studying My Most Recent Mix CD Track Listing

One can really see how I've grown as an artist. More mature? Maybe. More risk-taking? Definitely.

Look, I'm Just Gonna Say It

The new Gwen Stefani song is GOOD. Sure, the lyrics are straight up dumb, but it has a good stew going.

Idea for My Tombstone

"TGIF."

Or, pepperoni. Right, remember those commercials? For the pizza??

Stress-Induced Acid Reflux Rules

Guess I gotta get one of these. What a lamer.

Spam Emails, You Are Too Weird

Recent Senders:

racist
Farrell Nancy
Dick

Recent Subject Lines:

jeez right wing
"A retarded, child emperor, but an emperor."
Mocks make your tests more fragile and more tightly-coupled.

Are Celebrities Real?

From Page Six, I think:

"Lohan was shunned at the glittering affair by other celebs who are tired of her bratty antics and bad work ethic. Overhearing her tirade about Biel's assistant, Will Ferrell turned to DiCaprio, Gore and Affleck and said, 'Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?' - setting off laughter."

A) That-wait...nope, don't really care. Tried to, though.

B) That sounds like a real pack of hotties. AL GORE?! Rarrrr.

Update: I think that when celebrities miraculously slim down or lose baby weight or whatever, their actually doing this.

He Finally Let the Monkeys Out

From Harpers Weekly:

"...Rhesus macaque overpopulation in Delhi was
causing extreme environmental stress. 'The problem of
man-monkey conflict,' said an environmentalist (who argued
against building more monkey prisons) 'is only going to
increase.'"



"If I don't get a pizza here in 10 minutes, I'M LETTING THE MONKEYS LOOSE!"