Attention World:

The funniest episode of The Office EVER is on right now.

What a good season premiere.

Yeah Whatever

That's right: I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. WHAT?

Eff yasself.

The Previous Post Reminds Me Of

Gerard Effing Butler.

He rules.

300, etc.

SERIOUSLY.

The previous interview is probably my favorite piece of anything ever because: a) I basically think that Scottish accents were made for my worship and delight (because they sound like equal parts of a joke I might make AND a smart joke I don't get yet is still the funniest, sexiest thing I've ever heard), b) the idea that "Gerry" Butler could have been Bond is like a porkchop tied a foot from my forehead, and c) the mere idea of he and Craig Ferguson even talking for one second is worth a year of Golden Oreos in my "book." Also, when Mr. Butler impersonates an American accent, I DIE, and his light shoes/dark "trow" combo IS MY MONDAY MORNING APHRODISIAC.

I just grossed myself out, but you get the picture.

As "you" were.

Permit Me to Live-Blog the Intense Emotional Reaction I Am Having to This Movie RIGHT NOW

BUT IT'S ON PAUSE SO I GOTTA STOP TYPING NOW

Look What I Found on the Internet La La La

Is what this blog could be called.

What I Would Have Said to Actor Josh Charles Had I, Not My Sister, Seen Him on the UWS of Manhattan Last Week

First I would have barfed, obvs, and then I would have asked if he could, just this one time, say "This is Dan Rydell alongside REAL NAME REDACTED*. Those stories and more tonight on Sports Night."

Then I would have asked for a "pic" with him (with his arm around me, o'course), which I would have taken with my camera phone.

Cheezus H, what a missed opportunity.

See:


Prolly his best movie, btw:


Lest anyone think I'm batsh*t insane, here's a video some other clearly crazy person made of Josh Charles clips set to "Sweet Child of Mine:"


Knox Overstreet forever, man.**

*Sorry, dudes, but I don't put my whole name on the nets.
**Gay Dead Poets Society fan fiction ABSOLUTELY EXISTS

I Totally Owned New Employee Orientation

Human Resources representative: "We can do Direct Deposit to up to SIX different bank accounts..."

New employee seated next to me, under his breath: "Who has six bank accounts? Do you have six bank accounts?"

Me: "Yeah, but they're all off-shore."

DON'T DANCE

FINALLY a dance song that hipsters can like UN-IRONICALLY!*


*a) Not "unicorn-ically," as it first looked like to me, and, b) I do not know if that is spelled right

Enjoy!**

**But seriously, how do you write/perform a funny sketch AND write/perform an awesome song? I guess you go here. I mean, I did.

Bill Hader's Uncanny Arnold Impression

Via www.billhaderonline.com:

BillLeno
Uploaded by sisko199

To be fair, re: his Vinnie Vedecci character, Mr. Hader should employ fewer "-ando," -"as," and "-os" endings and more "-itti,"
"-izzi," and "-ato" endings, as the former are Spanish word endings and the latter are Italian word endings.

NERD ALERT. Whatevs, I speak Italian. LOVE BILL HADER.

Things I Can't Watch Anymore Since I Don't Have TV

1) Lost
2) The Office
3) Mad Men
4) 30 Rock
5) Anything else

I DON'T REALLY WATCH MUCH TV BUT IT WAS THE OPTION TO WATCH I SO PRIZED

I GUESS I'LL JUST WATCH THE INTERNET

This Was Good